Posted 43 minutes ago with 42,780 notes
I had a dream last night that I worked at McDonalds and I was behind the counter when this guy dressed in a tuxedo (with white dickie and tie) was snapping his fingers for a server. I went I over and he asked to see our “darkest red” and I knew he was talking about wine so I said “sir, this is McDonalds. The darkest red we have here is ketchup” and he had me pour him a glass of ketchup and he drank it while looking me directly in the eye.
Posted 44 minutes ago with 171,906 notes
- that guy in the state farm commercial that says “can i get a hot tub” like hes prayin in a church
Posted 44 minutes ago with 203,950 notes
together at last
excuse me i have something important 2 add
Posted 52 minutes ago with 10,375 notes
me as a prom dj
"time to slow things down a little blt"
*plays crank dat souja boy (acoustic version)*
Posted 53 minutes ago with 107,460 notes
when u try to caffeinate yourself and just end up increasing ur heart rate with no discernible changes in levels of exhaustion
Posted 54 minutes ago with 317 notes
Only bad thing about Autumn is that Winter comes directly after it
im laughing who calls in Autumn..like u live in the US…this aint Britain..
I call it Autumm and I live in the US
Posted 55 minutes ago with 121,019 notes
Glass Blower: Sculpting A Horse From Molten Glass
Posted 55 minutes ago with 27,498 notes
Probably one of the best tweets I’ve ever come across tbh.